'You've got to be strong to be different...'

I've written before about our family sayings; like 'you can't fight in your pyjamas', another of which is 'you've got to be strong to be different'. This comes from a favourite children's book about a lion which we read endlessly to both of our children, when they were little. My husband can recite the entire book by heart. The moral of it is a consistent theme in our house. I want my children to embrace different. Don't be like everyone else. Don't do what everyone else does. Be different. But it does take strength and no matter how many times we say the mantra - it's become a comedy explanation whenever anyone in the family does anything quirky - it is hard to do for real.

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Especially at the moment, when conformity and blending-in seems important as we charter the territory of new schools and new friendships. You've got to be strong to be different.

I was brought up with a similar guide; my Mum went to great lengths to instill in me the idea that I didn't have to conform and in that, gave me such an important gift. I learnt to have my own opinion early on and those of my friends who have got to know me very well (as it takes a long time to get to know me for proper) will often comment I have little quirks and individualities that are different.

In an evening email exchange with my friend Emma last night, we were discussing the the impression that we made on others and how disconcerting it can be when meeting new people. Even now, as a grown up woman with my own family, profession, small business, a full repertoire of nutritious recipes, a charity-giving, tax-paying adult; I can still be floored with self-doubt.

This self doubt is often spurred by the recognition that I am not the same as everyone else. I think differently, I feel differently, I even dress differently.

In the corporate world there are a gazillion methods to categorise and characterise your personality type in an effort to glean efficiencies (such a corporate word!) in how you deal with others; clients, colleagues, bosses and so on. I know from that this I have a professional personality that is actually at odds with my real personality. But I have learnt to adapt and I have taken on traits that are not natural to me, but which I can use when they are needed. Over the years I did wonder whether I became so adept at taking on these traits that I lost sight...of me.

Part of the journey has been to get back to what I am all about, and do it now unapologetically. But I do hang on to the fact that it's OK to be different...isn't it? :-)

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'You've got to be strong to be different...'

Reviewed by axiata
Published : 2013-02-21T10:24:00-08:00
Rating : 4.5