I've been away and am now returned! The skiing break was much-needed, as ever, perspective was delivered in a hefty dose as soon as we settled into a new environment. We stayed in an old Alpine farmhouse; somewhere we have been to many times before, but on this occasion with a great group of friends and all of our children. I was different to our normal holiday; many times we have travelled with family and friends, but then the children were much younger and there were babies and toddlers who dictated the pace. This time it was a gaggle of children over seven and up to twelve, so a little pack of growing self-sufficiency. Seeing them interact reminded me so much of my childhood spent holidaying with my Danish cousins, all of us a similar age and left to our own devices whilst the adults had long meals in the evenings.
Staying in the mountains is always wonderful - there was so much snow it almost meant we couldn't ski some days. But then we just chilled out and drank tea, ate cake and it all worked out.
Before we left, the rigours of home life were starting to get to me; and although being away gave perspective, it didn't provide complete comfort this time around. I have this nagging feeling that my balance has shifted and that once I got back I would have to face up to...to...what?! I am not quite sure but a sense of foreboding is looming large. I am trying to just sit with it and not over-analyse (as I am prone to do). I am learning that this is normal; life has phases and although at the moment my worry about this phase is starting to feel unwieldy, I am attempting to stay positive. Easier written than done...
What I do know is that the advice of friends has been hugely important to me. I place great value in the knowledge that people who know me well know when I am not myself. I use them as my barometer. It takes a really long time to make a good, trusted friend but when you have, it makes all the difference. They help to push me forward.
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