In my family there was just my brother and I, and as he is seven years older than me, my childhood had some moments of feeling like an only child after he had left home. This is, I am sure, one of the reasons why my Mum and I have always been so close. I sense that when making choices about the size and timing of your family (and often those choices are not really your own; pregnancies come and go and things never quite shape up as you thought) we do often veer towards what we knew growing up. I simply can't imagine having had another sibling and always felt indifferent about having a sister. Now I am older though, I watch sisters and their closeness and envy it. Especially sisters who become mothers at a similar time.
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| beautiful image photographed by jean smith |
We've never had an inclination to have a third child, although many of our friends have and certainly, because we had our children when we were 'young', there was an expectation that we would try for more. I got to the point where I couldn't imagine that I had any more love to give if I had another child; that somehow, in our circumstances, I would have been stretched too far. Also, with a girl and a boy, I felt my curiosity had been satisfied! No regrets - a family of four is a blessing and I wouldn't have it any other way.
I do see mothers who are so embroiled in the baby stage that they become 'used' to having a baby every couple of years. I had one acquaintance who did this at two-yearly intervals until she had four children; all evenly spaced and only one short of the Von-Trapp family. It almost becomes habitual. For us, there was a four year gap between children so I never stayed that long in the baby zone.
For me, the baby zone was the stage I most wanted to escape and frankly it was with steely determination that I did it a second time! Of course now, I look back and can see that it was just like every other phase of parenthood - exactly that: a phase. I do love having older kids though and as they mature, I enjoy their company so much that honestly I can't think of better people to spend my time with. The concept of upsetting that apple cart with another baby is bizarre! And of course as time marches on, the genuine possibility actually diminishes pretty fast.
I think a lot about only children and how that must feel and how close we came to having that. I also watch with wonder how close these tight little family units of three appear; mother, father, child. Such a concentration of love.
It's such a personal choice and is so governed by fate that families form and mould over time, some with no children, some with a whole host of them. The puppy dog became our third child equivalent and I am perfectly happy with that!
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| beautiful image photographed by jean smith |
Third child...
Reviewed by axiata
Published :
Rating : 4.5
Published :
Rating : 4.5
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