The weather has calmed to a more normal state of unpredictable showers and cloud, but still warm. Unlike the state of the British public who are in delight-overdrive (spurred on by media coverage) for the Royal birth. I found myself most interested to see Catherine and how she seemed, always in the hope that she is coping well with this enormous and strange role she has in the world. As they stepped out of the hospital with their new son, I was struck with her poise again (reminiscent of her wedding day) but also of how they looked like any young couple, awkwardly cradling this newcomer who will change their lives forever! I was so touched to see it; they were so happy and slightly bewildered, this time not with the crowds but with the enormity of becoming a parent. And to all of the naysayers, I agree with this commentary; to be gushingly happy for them may be gaudy and absurd ('...it's only a baby after all!') but nevertheless the emotions flow and that is right.
Meanwhile I am edging closer to my last day at work, now just arrangements of leaving lunches and winding my fifteen year career down. Heart-wrenching emails saying kind things about my professional work have been quite hard to read; mainly because I don't think I will ever do this sort of work in this sort of way again. Corporate life and me may not mix in future. I am not a person who likes endings, no matter in what form they arrive, so I am trying to keep my chin up and see the enormous good in this decision I have made. I am sure that in weeks to come it will be like any other natural end - I'll wonder what all the fuss was about.
To soothe things, days are being spent in a lazy swirl of summer-holiday-related nothingness. I am re-reading books on 'mindfulness', trying to rediscover that zen feeling I had when I was on sabbatical! Breath in, breath out. Evening dog walks by the water; having been usurped from the beach by the summer crowds, we have taken to the marina where the path hugs the boating channel. My children less willingly accompany me than they used to, but when we get there, even they agree how pretty it is.
Sometimes I kinda wish that I didn't have any responsibilities and I lived a life, with an associated nonchalant wardrobe, like this:
Then I remember that in fact I am living the dream, I have so much, we are happy and I see that my life is like this: ready to go.
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